Being a millennial and dating can be more than a little confusing. My generation is so screwed up on it’s concept of what a real relationship is. We’ve all seen the #RelationshipGoals however, no one wants to take the time to get to know someone well enough to form a meaningful relationship. In a generation where ghosting is the norm and hookups are the new dating culture, it’s no wonder that we’re all so scared to get attached.
We all jump from person to person, never staying long enough to discover anything real about the each other. And then we have this whole “talking” thing. I hate that word. I mean, I hate it in the very depths of my soul. WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?! Are you together, are you seeing other people, do you even know what you are? So confusing. The problem with “talking” to someone is that they’re also “talking” to 15 million other people (this is an exaggeration, obviously – but you get the point). So, if you do decide to let your guard down for a moment and think that you might actually like someone they’re still pursuing other people. And heaven forbid you start to show that you’re actually interested, because the second you do BAM… you my friend have been ghosted.
Then there’s online dating. Ohhhhhh the HELL that is online dating. In one week alone I received all of the following messages:
- “Hey baby, want a sugar daddy?”
- “How soon can I get you pregnant?”
- “Would you like a slave?”
- “Do you like getting spanked? You look like your ass needs spanked.”
- “Do you like men who enjoy wearing diapers? Because I’m a diaper boy.”
One week. ONE. WEEK. And, with each of these messages this was the first thing that was said to me. No “Hi, how are you?” No “Hello”. Nothing. Just this.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve also met some normal people through online dating and even one of my ex’s and I met on OkCupid. However, the bad heavily outweighs the good. I’m not entirely sure where the idea that this is the way that women like to be spoken to came from but fellas, just an FYI, it’s not.
But, this is a digital age and everyone else is always so consumed with their own lives that online dating is fairly normal. Quite a few of my friends have met their significant others through some kind of online source. So, what’s a girl to do? Suffer through the trials of online dating or just remain single(which does have its perks)? Because I really don’t go out to bars or anything that often, at least not anymore. And let’s be honest, no good comes from meeting someone at a bar. Alcohol + attraction tends to spell disaster for your heart.
I think the hardest part about being a millennial and dating is that my generation has this crazy idea that a relationship will just develop itself without either party or just the other party putting in the work. Which is not the case. The one thing I wish the people in my generation would learn is that relationships are a two way street. If you want the other person to like you and enjoy your company you have to first be an enjoyable person. You can’t get by with being a detached zombie.
It’s okay to let your guard down and let someone see the real you. It isn’t as terrifying as we like to make it out to be.
So, millennials, if you’re listening… just breathe. And stop trying to out game each other. It isn’t good for anyone.