So, I’ve flirted with this topic a couple of times and I’ve tried to stay away from getting too much into health & fitness on my blog. There are SO MANY fitness and health blogs out there, the industry is sooooo saturated with those blogs it’s insane. In this day & age everyone is a fitness and health expert (apparently *insert eye roll*).
I am far from an expert on anything health and fitness related. I took some classes on nutrition while I was in college and they were phenomenal but other than that I just do my own research, experiment & draw my own conclusions.
I also am TERRIBLE at taking my own advice when it comes to my own health, at least until recently. I love researching & finding out how different fruits, veggies, herbs, spices etc. impact the body however when it comes to actually implementing the things that I’ve learned to create a balanced lifestyle I’ve failed miserably over the past couple of years.
Growing up I was relatively healthy. I played every sport possible, ate healthy-ish, and this continued all the way through college. I worked in a job where I was on my feet all day and still ran.
But, about 4 years ago I got a desk job. I went in and out of a couple of bad relationships, my mental health was not stellar and so my physical health suffered. Over the course of all of this I gained 70 lbs. I was weighing in at around 220lbs. Being only 5’7″ that’s definitely not a good weight on my body.
I want you to understand that I’m not in any way making excuses. I easily could have chosen to battle the weight a lot sooner, I could have chosen to look past my mental health issues, my physical health issues and push through. I just didn’t want to. I was stuck in a cycle of negative self talk and I was totally fine with wallowing in my weight gain and being unhappy with myself.
I don’t really have a specific moment where everything kind of clicked. No one suffered a heart attack, I wasn’t breaking down in the bathroom over how much I hated myself (don’t get me wrong, that has happened before but it never lead to anything productive), nothing major really happened.
I was just sitting in a living room surrounded by my family, some of them overweight some not, talking to my grandma about her upcoming weight loss surgery (she is one of the one’s that sadly is overweight) and something just…. popped. I don’t want to say clicked because that’s a very gentle way to explain what happened. It was more like a balloon exploded and all of these ideas and revelations came flooding out.
I was sitting there, my fat hanging over my jeans, extremely uncomfortable with how I felt physically…. and I was over it. I didn’t want it. Not anymore.
It didn’t really feel like my body anymore. That’s really the only way that I can describe it. I was sitting there in an overweight body that for some reason I very suddenly didn’t feel connected to.
I instantly got tired of my own bullshit.
I do want to say that leading up to this moment there were countless months of documentaries about health, nutrition, and the human body. There was also tons of research about nutrition and health. But nothing had sparked my interest. Not until this moment.
I all of a sudden realized that I deserved more than to live a half life. I deserved to be able to do anything I wanted to do and not be held back by my health. I deserved an extraordinary life.
I’ve watched my family that is overweight struggle for years. Chasing after their children instead of running with them. I saw them not be able to participate when we all wanted to go hiking, or they fell behind when everyone was out shopping together. And all of those moments where I saw people I loved being held back because of their own health choices just came crashing down.
That’s only been a few months ago. Since then I’ve made it a priority to choose myself every day.
And that’s the problem I see with a lot of the people that I know that want to get healthy, that want to make a change but just seem to not be able to.
The truth is, from day to day you aren’t going to see results. Some mornings you’re going to wake up and feel like you’re back at square one. Just know that you aren’t. Some days you’re going to feel like you aren’t getting anywhere and then you’re going to give in and eat an entire pizza in one sitting…. just know that this is normal. You’re going to have highs and lows with your journey.
I’ve realized that along the way that each time you sit down to eat, each time you open your fridge you have the option to choose yourself or to choose comfort. Sometimes you are going to choose comfort, that’s just how that works. But, as the time goes on and as you make more and more healthy choices, choosing comfort is going to be less frequent. Comfort for you will slowly become choosing the broccoli over the pasta, choosing the smoothie over a milkshake. Comfort will be knowing that you’re fueling your body instead of fighting it.
I’ve started and stopped with fitness so many times it’s ridiculous. I would always get discouraged when I didn’t see immediate results. Until I realized, the 70 pounds that I gained were put on over the course of 4 YEARS. It did not happen over night. The changes that slowly lead to the deterioration of my body did not happen all at once. Therefore, the changes towards a happier and healthier body are not going to happen that way either.
It’s going to happen over time. Right now I’m working on finding the little things that I like to do when it comes to my own personal health.
Turns out, I LOVE experimenting with smoothies. I love running (which I already knew) and I’m getting more and more into yoga.
The way I see it, by taking the time to find things that I love doing I’m going to be much more likely to stick to the changes that I’m making.
But, you have to get tired of your own bullshit, you have to start recognizing your owns excuses before you’ll ever truly make the change.
This life is beautiful, don’t let your poor health decisions stop you from living it. ♥
Until next time,